Burning Down the House
By Brate
ATF Universe
"Y'know, Chris is gonna kill us."
"He will know it wasn't our fault."
"It never is."
The day had started out well. Ezra picked up Vin for work, since the Texan's Jeep was in the shop -- again. Now, half an hour later, they were surrounded by police officers, firefighters, and assorted paramedics, waiting for their boss to appear.
"Where the hell are my men?!"
Hearing the dulcet tones of their leader, both agents groaned. Vin nudged Ezra. "It's your turn; I told him about the last thing."
Chris sighed as he came upon his agents. They were lying on the ground -- bandaged and handcuffed together.
"Thanks for coming, Cowboy."
"Nice to see you, Mr. Larabee."
"Seems I had no choice. I was told to collect my men before they were arrested for reckless endangerment and property damage."
"I ain't reckless." Vin was insulted.
Larabee rolled his eyes. When no other information was forthcoming, he pointedly cleared his throat. "Gentlemen?"
Vin nudged Ezra again and Ezra groaned. He was certain a couple of his ribs were broken. "You see, Mr. Larabee, we were driving on the freeway on the way to work-- on time I might add." Chris waved his hand for the undercover agent to continue. "Ahem, anyway, Vin noticed a man in the car next to us and recalled his face from the vast amount of wanted posters he peruses for his enjoyment."
"It was Max Rose," Vin interrupted, as if that explained it all.
"And would that be the man over there yelling about false imprisonment, and how his rights are being trampled upon?"
Standish looked over in the direction of his leader's gaze. "Yes, that is the suspect in question."
Chris nodded. "So you noticed him. Did you call for backup?"
"No. Mr. Tanner decided we should follow Mr. Rose and confront him once his vehicle had stopped." Ezra glared at Vin who calmly smiled and yanked on their joined hands. "Unfortunately, Mr. Rose noticed his tail. He then attempted to outmaneuver my Jaguar. Silly, really. Mr. Tanner insisted on following him."
"That's when he pulled his gun out and started shooting," Vin added.
"For no reason?" Chris seemed skeptical.
"He's nuts! Reason enough," scoffed Vin.
Ezra tried to get the conversation under control. "That's when I backed off. Then, when the criminal ran out of ammo, my partner absconded into his vehicle."
"What?!" Chris looked at his sharpshooter in shock.
"I jumped into his convertible." Tanner shrugged.
"For God's sake, why?"
"To git him to pull over o'course. Only he wrestled with me fer the wheel."
"And it took them to the other side of the freeway. Swerving the vehicle back onto the correct path, my partner managed to avoid causing any accidents."
"Except something happened," Chris stated matter-of-factly.
"I am afraid Mr. Tanner has yet to learn to control some of his baser instincts." Chris shot a look of shock at his best friend. "I mean his aggression, Mr. Larabee. Apparently, Mr. Rose took offense at Mr. Tanner's intrusion and suggested something vulgar that Vin could do with his badge."
The sharpshooter nodded. "He told me to shove it up my--"
"All right," Chris interrupted. "So why are you two under arrest?" he motioned at the handcuffs binding the two.
"We ain't actually under arrest. The PD was just a mite pissed. Especially after the crash."
"What crash?" Chris' voice had gotten very quiet... not a good sign.
"In his attempt to bring the malefactor under control, the convertible was driven down an exit ramp. There just happened to be a modular home being transported on the entrance ramp directly below."
Vin fumed, "What is it with those people? Are they just too lazy to pack? They gotta move the whole damn house?"
Larabee didn't respond to Vin's attempt to lighten the mood, and tried to get them back on track. "And then?"
"The convertible managed to enter into the modular home at an advanced speed."
"You crashed into the house?!?" Chris yelled at his agent.
"Not on purpose," Vin defended.
Chris threw his hands up. "What am I going to do with you two? Do I need to lock you up?"
"I fear that is not the end of our tale, Mr. Larabee." Ezra tried not to flinch as his leader's steely gaze was directed at him once again. "I followed as quickly as possible to ensure my partner's safety. Unfortunately, I noticed gasoline was leaking. We managed to extricate Mr. Rose, and then I suggested that we evacuate, post haste. We got the driver out of the truck and moved back a ways."
"Which was good thinkin' since the whole damn thing exploded."
The man in black hung his head low. "What else?" he asked, afraid of what the answer might be.
"That's it," Vin announced.
"Ahem."
Vin glanced at the gambling man. "Well, okay. One more thing."
"I'm afraid to ask."
The sharpshooter shrugged. "Seems like the guy transportin' the house is holdin' us responsible."
"I wonder why."
"He reckons the ATF owes 'im fer the house."
"And how am I supposed to find enough money in the budget to pay for a house?"
"Don't ya have home insurance?"
"You aren't helping, Tanner!"
"Mr. Tanner," Ezra commented, "it seems as though you were right. We are to be blamed."
Chris screamed in frustration. "You're only blamed because it's your fault!"
"Whatever, Cowboy."
