Like the Cat Who Swallowed the Canary
By Brate
Seven vengeful men sat in the jailhouse, planning the downfall of the woman responsible for their humiliation. It had been two weeks since each of the men had been caught unawares.
"So we still have no idea how to get Mary back?" Chris Larabee regarded each of his men in turn. "Between the seven of us, we can't come up with one thing to get her with?"
"It's not that easy, Chris," commented Nathan. "Ya got to be careful around women, they're tricky."
"I know. That's the reason we have to get her back." Larabee stared at the regulators spread around the jailhouse. They'd had to meet here because the Saloon had been too crowded to make plans at, and they hadn't wanted to chance Mrs. Travis walking in on them again. "Any ideas at all?"
"Take her out of town and leave her?"
"I don't want to have to arrest myself, Josiah," JD smirked.
"Perhaps we might steal the lady's ink so she may no longer put out her newspaper?" Ezra offered.
"I don't like the idea of messing with someone's livelihood," Nathan responded.
"Cut off her hair?" JD asked.
"Do and yer dead," Chris stated matter-of-factly. Buck and Vin exchanged a grin at this.
"Take her clothes away?"
"It's supposed to be a prank, Buck, not a wish list," JD snorted, then sobered up at a glare from the gunslinger. "Hey, we could get Billy's help."
"To do what?" Buck questioned.
"I don't know, I'm thinking out loud."
"I got an idea," the tracker softly said.
"Pray tell us, Mr. Tanner. Don't keep us all in suspense," drawled the Southerner.
"We'll need Billy's help."
"I can get it." Chris was certain.
"There's this stuff we used ta use for paint when I'se with the tribe."
"And?"
Vin began to explain his plan, and the evil grins spread.
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
Chris and Vin were sitting on the porch in front of the jailhouse two days later when Billy Travis came running towards them. "I did it, it's done," he called breathlessly to Chris. "I switched 'em last night b'fore I went to bed."
Tanner bit back a grin, while the gunslinger gave Billy a penny to get some candy at Potter's Store. "Why don't you go over and play at the Hawthorne's 'til this afternoon. I'll cover it with your ma."
"Okay, Chris," the boy said, his eyes shining brightly at the money, before scampering off down the street.
"Wanna tell the boys?" the tracker asked.
"Oh, I figure they'll hear soon enough," his friend answered.
Just as the gunslinger finished his statement, a scream ripped through the air. Townspeople who had gotten up early were alarmed at the sound, and looked over to see what their regulators would do. When the two men continued to sit in contentment, they returned their attention to their own business, with only looks of concern exchanged.
JD came out of the jail with Buck. "Was that what I think it was?" the ladies' man inquired.
"Yep," the tracker nodded. He watched the gambler emerge from the Saloon and look to the newspaper office with a slight smile, gold tooth glinting in the early morning light. Then Ezra turned to the jailhouse, lifting his fingers to his hat in a silent salute.
Nathan emerged from his room and joined Josiah walking to the jailhouse. "Has she shown up yet?" the healer asked.
"Nope." Seven men watched the office, restless with anticipation. Finally the object of their wait burst through the front door, fire in her eyes, and greenish-brown hair framing her angry face. The lawmen tried to keep their expressions neutral as they watched the furious woman storm over to them.
"All right," she yelled. "Which of you did this?"
"Did what, Mrs. Travis?" JD was unfortunate enough to open his mouth first.
"Don't give me your innocent look," Mary shrieked at him, sending the young sheriff to unconsciously move closer to Wilmington for protection. "I know you did something to my hair wash." The newspaperwoman grabbed the ends of her hair and brought them around to the front. "Look at this!" Her hair had been changed to the color of dirty moss.
Ezra had wandered over to stand next to the silent healer.
"That's an awfully strange color to dye your hair, Mrs. Travis," Larabee told the enraged woman.
"I know that I preferred it blonde," Buck agreed.
"The Lord's choice is always first in my book," Josiah added.
"I like it," Vin said. "Reminds me o' nature."
The last comment, so matter-of-factly spoken, sent the regulators over the edge, and they let loose their laughter, heretofore contained.
Mary shot scathing looks at the men before screeching and heading back to her house. Each of the men could hear the tirade continue until she was out of sight. They all were silent as they thought about what they'd done for about a second. Then they laughed until their stomachs hurt, and tears were rolling down their faces. Finally regaining control, the regulators wiped their faces off and sighed.
"So ya think we shoulda tol' her it comes right out with a little carbolic?" Vin asked his friends.
