Stroking the Cat Backwards
By Brate
"Hey, Vin, wait up!"
Vin Tanner slowed Peso down to a walk at his friend's call, and waited for JD to catch up.
"Where are you going?" the young sheriff asked.
"Miss Nettie asked me to come by and check her roof. She thinks it's leakin'."
"Great! Casey and I are going fishing, I can ride with you."
"Sure 'nuff."
Upon reaching the Wells' ranch, Nettie and her niece were on the porch to greet the men. "Hello, Vin, JD. I'm so glad you boys could come."
Casey nodded. "JD, could you help Vin with the roof, and then we can go out to the pond?"
"Sure, I'd be glad to help you out, Mrs. Wells," JD said.
Both regulators climbed up onto the roof and started to check for holes. Half an hour later, neither man had seen any trace of a problem. They got down and went to let Nettie know of their failure to find a leak. Vin called out, but no one answered. "Where could they be?" mumbled Tanner as he headed toward the barn.
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
"Buck?"
"Yes, darling?" Wilmington smirked at the bartender. "My, you're looking lovely today, Miss Inez."
"I'm tired."
"Maybe you should have a seat right here," the ladies' man said, patting his legs. To his immense surprise, Inez settled herself on his lap.
"Mmm. Much better," she purred.
"Well, now. Ain't this nice. Why the change of heart, senorita?"
"Senor, there's been no change of heart; simply an opening of opportunity." Inez snuggled into Buck's lap, playing with his shirt collar. She leaned in, speaking in a whisper, breathing into his ear, "How would you like to come in the back and... get to know me better?"
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
"Mr. Sanchez? Mr. Standish? Could I bother you gentleman a moment?"
The grey-haired man grinned. "Of course, Mrs. Potter. What can we do for you?"
"I just received a shipment of grain from Red Fork and I need to move a few bags into the store. Could I count on your help?"
"We'd be happy to lend a hand," Josiah assured her, grabbing onto Standish's jacket before he could get away. "We both would."
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
"Nathan?"
"Rain," the healer joyfully called out. "What brings you to town?"
"I need to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"Do you remember the man from my village that asked me to marry him?" She continued at his nod. "I have reconsidered and will be marrying him."
Nathan was shocked. "I don't know what to say."
"You do not need to say anything, sweet Nathan. I just wanted to let you know how much I've enjoyed our time together." She patted his hand and got up, heading for the door.
"Wait!" Nathan jumped up.
"Yes?" Rain turned around expectantly.
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
Chris Larabee watched as Mrs. Travis came into the jailhouse, frowning. "Something I could help you with, Mary?"
"Yes, do you know where Josiah is? He wasn't at the church."
"He and Ezra went with Mrs. Potter."
"Oh, all right then, thank you."
"Anything I could help you with?"
Mary looked at Chris from head to toe, sizing him up. "No, I don't think you'd be strong enough."
That got the gunfighter's hackles up. He knew he wasn't as big as the preacher, but it wasn't as though he was a weakling. "I think I could manage."
"Well," Mary thought it over, "I guess you can try."
~~OO~~OO~~OO~~
Tanner and Dunne walked into the jail and fell down into chairs. "Man, that's a long way," JD groaned.
Buck sat behind the desk and looked at the two men who just entered. "What happened to you two?"
"I just can't believe it."
"Will you stop saying that, Vin! You've been saying that since we left." JD was annoyed.
"But I can't believe it," Vin repeated.
Wilmington had never seen the tracker so flustered. "What happened?"
"We went out to the Wells' place and ended up walking home."
"What? Why?" Buck asked.
"They took our horses," JD answered.
"I can't believe Nettie played a prank on me." Vin was still shocked.
"Let it go, Vin." The young sheriff shook his head in exasperation. "And Casey was a part of it. I thought she liked me."
Buck grinned. "JD, don't worry. Inez played one on me, too."
"She did?"
"The little lass got me down to my skivvies, and shoved me out the back door of the Saloon."
Vin and JD started laughing. "How'd she get your clothes off?" JD chortled.
"What's the usual method, boy? She asked me."
This set the two laughing again.
"Hey, a woman will only play a joke on ya if she has feelings for ya," Buck defended.
"Yeah," Tanner agreed, "like the feelin's of hate Inez has for Buck."
"Will you girls stop jawin' and let me rest?"
"Chris?" They turned to look at the gunslinger sacked out on the cot in one of the cells, with his hat over his head. "What's with him?"
The ladies' man shrugged. "Don't know. He was already in there when I came in."
"What's going on?" Josiah asked his friends as he walked through the door.
"Chris is makin' like a prairie dog; he won't come outta his burrow."
Ezra came in behind the large man. He pushed JD out of his chair, ignoring the youth's complaint, and sat down heavily, wiping his brow with a handkerchief.
"What's with you?" JD asked, scowling from his new position on the floor.
"I was not meant to be used for menial labor," drawled the gambler.
Josiah leaned against the desk, chuckling. "I'm afraid Brother Ezra and I have been put through the wringer."
"How?"
"The Widow Potter needed some help bringing a few supplies in from the coach."
"And we ended up rearranging her entire general store," added Standish.
Tanner nodded, squinting his eyes in thought. "Any idea where Nate is?"
The preacher raised his eyebrow and shrugged. "Rain came into town and they've been cooped up in his room since."
"Boy knows how to keep a woman satisfied," Buck smirked.
Just then the object of their discussion came through the door, slamming it behind him. "I can't believe it!"
"Aargh," JD groaned. "Not another one."
Vin swatted the sheriff sitting in front of him. "What hap'ned, Doc?"
"Rain!" The healer started pacing the length of the jailhouse, not an easy task considering the number of men inside. "She came and tole me she was gettin' married."
Shouts of "What?" "To who?" and "When?" were heard throughout the small building.
Jackson waved his hands to silence his fellow regulators. "I damn near proposed to her. Went down on my knee and ever'thin'."
"And...?" Buck snapped when the healer didn't continue.
"And she laughed and kissed me."
"That's good news then, Mr. Jackson. Should we be offering our congratulations?"
"No, she was jest messin' with me. A joke." Nathan held up his hands as if in surrender. "A joke."
"That's six," Tanner stated softly.
"To what are you referring, Mr. Tanner?" inquired the Southerner.
"Everyone got played," Vin said.
At the healer's questioning glance, JD explained what happened to him, Buck, and Vin. Josiah told Nathan about Ezra and his own rearranging duty.
"So the only one not tricked was Chris," Nathan said.
"I wouldn't bet on that. Git out here, Cowboy!"
"Don't make me shoot you, Tanner," called a deep voice from the cell.
"Stop hidin' like a girl and git yer ass out here."
The men held their collective breath as a growl emanated from the dark-clothed man, followed by his rising off the cot. The gunslinger exited the jail cell, face still hidden in the shadows of his hat.
"Chris, what happened to you?" JD's mouth was open in astonishment.
The lantern light exposed the fact that their leader's face wasn't in shadows, it was splattered with black. "I was helping Mary move her press and she accidentally spilt ink on me."
"Accidentally?" smirked Buck.
"So she said." The gunslinger's expression told the others how much of that excuse he believed.
"How did they plan all of this?" Josiah wondered aloud.
"I can't believe they all got together on this." Nathan shook his head.
"I can," JD replied, glumly.
The door to the jailhouse opened and the Seven looked up to see Nettie, Casey, Rain, Gloria Potter, and Mary walk into the room. "You ladies come to gloat?" snarled Larabee.
The ladies just smiled sweetly before parting, revealing another woman at the rear.
"Maude!"
"Mrs. Standish?"
"Mother?! You're the mastermind behind this horrific conspiracy?"
The blonde walked over to her son and leaned down, kissing him on the cheek. "Just trying to keep you on your toes, darling," she told him, smiling at his bewilderment.
The women laughed and started to scatter themselves around the small building. Rain snuggled against Nathan. "I was right; you are crazy about me."
Casey ran over to JD, teasing the young man about how easily he was tricked. Nettie smiled over her niece's head at Vin, his slight smile in answer showing he bore no ill will.
Mrs. Potter thanked Ezra and Josiah for their help, and she managed to keep a straight face while doing it. Mary wasn't so fortunate, she kept giggling as she apologized to Chris over his new face makeup.
"Ahem."
Everyone looked up from their conversations to see Mr. Conklin standing in the open doorway.
"May we help you?" Larabee asked, coldly.
"Yes." Mr. Conklin stepped into the jailhouse, easily making it the most people ever occupying the building at one time. "I have a petition signed by the citizens of this town. We are asking that no more pranks, tomfoolery, or mischief will be played or conducted by you gentlemen... and ladies," he added, tipping his hat.
"What is this nonsense?" demanded Mary Travis, grabbing the piece of paper from the town's spokesmen. The newspaperwoman began to read the document. "Gloria! You signed this?"
Mrs. Potter had the grace to blush. "That was before you invited me to participate."
Conklin addressed the group. "We pay you regulators to protect our town, not for shenanigans."
"Aw, hell, we throw them in fer free," assured the tracker.
The businessman hmphed and exited, slamming the door on the laughter.
"Guess we need a new hobby, Pard." Buck grinned at his oldest friend.
Larabee grinned back. "How 'bout a little target practice?"
The End... for sure
