Scenes From a Truck
By K Hanna Korossy
"You know, I haven't missed this at all."
"What, you mean sitting inside a cramped, shaking box for hours at a time?"
"Actually, I was going to say trucks and cars and traffic, but that works."
Rodney McKay fidgeted. Again. "I think calling this rattling deathtrap a truck is far too generous. 'Box on shaky wheels' would be more like it. Besides, I thought you liked things that went vroom."
"No," John Sheppard said patiently, "I like things that go whoosh--wings and blades, not wheels, McKay."
"Right, right. Wrong Fisher Price set--my mistake."
"Just so we're clear. I don't like traffic any more than the next guy who transferred to Antarctica to get away from it all."
Rodney looked over at him. "I thought you were sent to Antarctica as some sort of slap on the wrist."
"And how was Siberia for you, Dr. McKay?" John asked pointedly.
"Right." Rodney nodded. "Why bring up the past?" At his seatmate's continued glare, he made a face. "I'll just, uh, shut up now."
"Why don't you do that?"
Four seconds--John counted them. "So, when did they say we'd get there?"
********
"Hey, look! Some kind of...green antelope."
John peered past his shoulder through the one small window. "Looks more like a moose to me."
"Oh, right, and moose are known for running like the wind. Where did you grow up?"
"Nevada, actually."
"Not exactly the moose capitol of the world, is it."
"And Canada is?"
"Actually..."
John grimaced. "Never mind." They watched the animal another minute. Then winced in tandem. John cleared his throat. "Uh, antelope aren't usually carnivorous, are they?"
"No." Rodney sat back from the window and swallowed. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Not in here, you're not," John declared, but pushed Rodney's head down between his knees with more kindness than force. "Your first antelope bloodbath?"
"You are so funny," came the muffled voice from below.
"Only when it comes to moose. Mooses?"
"And hopeless. Did I mention utterly, completely hopeless?"
John sighed. "Are we there yet?"
********
"Did the native say it was going to be this far to the city?"
"How am I supposed to know? Teyla was the one who talked his language."
"Yes, but you were nodding, looking completely...understanding."
"Well, it was an act."
"Figures," Rodney muttered. He settled back to stare at the jiggling ceiling. "You realize if it takes this long to get there, it'll take at least as long to get back."
"I'm trying not to think about it."
"Yes, well, just making conversation." A beat. "You know, you really could use some work on your conversation skills."
John shifted his arm to rest more comfortably on his weapon. "Is that what we're having? Here I thought you were talking and I was ignoring you."
"Seriously, Major, you can't expect to get everywhere just on the charm of your smile and personality. Which, I must say, is not nearly as charming as you seem to think it is."
"I love you, too, McKay."
Rodney's mouth opened, shut with a snap, then twisted. "I get it. I'm just the civilian on the team--'shut up and behave, McKay,' until you need me to save all of us, again, then it's suddenly, 'please tell us what you think, McKay.'"
"Have I ever said, 'please tell us what you think, McKay'?"
"Oh, okay, so, say on that water planet last week where the tide was coming in and would have buried the gate and us if I hadn't gotten it working again, you actually had it all under control?"
"I did."
Rodney crossed his arms. "This I have to hear."
John gave him a smug smile. "I had it factored in that you were a genius and would fix it."
"You...you did?" Rodney's arms loosened and fell to his side. "You did. Well. Uh." He glanced out the window. "Oh, look. More of those furry little antelope meals."
"Uh-huh. Just wake me when we get there."
********
"What do you suppose they're doing?"
"Hmm?"
"Teyla and Ford in the other truck. What do you suppose they're doing?"
"Probably grabbing a little sleep while there's no one there to bother them."
"Sorry." Two seconds this time. "So, why did you join the Air Force?"
John leaned his head back against the vibrating wall of the compartment and sighed. "Because they let me fly."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"Huh. How noble." Pause. "I wanted to be a musician, myself."
"Rock band?"
"Symphony orchestra."
John's eyebrows went up. "Interesting choice."
"Yes, well, my music teacher said I was too mechanical, too...mathematical, if you can believe that. Physics seemed the natural second choice."
"You never told me any of that."
"Didn't I?" Rodney shrugged. "I don't think about it too often anymore. But when I was a kid," his mouth softened into a smile, "I was notorious for making music out of anything I got my hands on: empty bottles, pencils, rubberbands." A suddenly self-conscious shrug. "That was a long time ago. How about you?"
"I was notorious for having dark hair."
Rodney blinked.
"I kinda blended into the woodwork."
"You? That's hard to imagine."
"Why, thank you, McKay."
"No, I, uh, actually meant that as a--never mind. So! Do you think we'll be there soon?"
********
"Another hour of this and I'm gonna go crazy."
"Take it easy. Teyla said they lived a long way from the gate--protection against the Wraith, remember?"
"Well, next time we should bring the jumper."
"Maybe next time you should bring your laptop."
Rodney brightened. "Hey, maybe we could--"
"No."
A scowl. "I was just going to say maybe we could add a laptop to our mission gear."
"And you're gonna carry it, right, when we're hiking a couple of miles?"
Pause. "Well, maybe we should think about it first."
"Uh-huh. Hey, I saw you talking to that cute Asian girl before we left."
"Hmm? Who, Dr. Leung?"
"You thought about asking her out?"
"What?" Rodney's whole face scrunched up. "No! She's a...she's a fellow scientist, nothing more."
"One who seems to like you, God knows why."
"I'll have you know, I had my choice of dates for the astrophysics Atomic Ball."
"Gee, I wonder why?"
"Look, it's just...wait, did you hear something about Dr. Leung and...you know?"
"Nope."
"Then why...never mind." A beat. "Maybe I will. Ask her out, that is. Not like there are many places to ask somebody out around Atlantis. Do you think she'd enjoy seeing that nuclear research lab we found the other day? There's some fascinating equipment there we're still trying to figure out."
"Try the view from the southeast balcony."
"Really?"
"Really. A bottle of Athosian wine, some canned fruit, and you've got yourself a romantic picnic."
"I thought you said you didn't understand women."
"I don't. But I know they all have one thing in common: they like romance. Moonlight, food, a little one-on-one time..."
"Huh." An expression of deep thought. "So, do you think this mission's going to take long?"
********
"You know, a lot longer and we should think about fixing this place up, maybe getting some curtains."
"Oh, like you think I'd ever share a place with you? I've seen your room, Major."
"What's wrong with my room?"
"Nothing, if you like Johnny Cash and the American West."
"What part of 'Nevada' did you not understand, McKay?"
"Not that you couldn't use a babysitter. You're as skinny as one of those poor abused animals you see on TV being rescued from crazy old ladies who have three hundred cats."
"Hey, wait a--"
"Every alien you meet seems to want to either sleep with you or beat you senseless; you've been to see Carson so many times, I don't think he changes the sheets anymore"
"McKay--"
"Oh, did I forget to mention the only case of pneumonia we've had so far in Atlantis?"
"I can take care of myself," John growled.
"Not that I've noticed. Face it, Sheppard, you need some serious looking after."
"I thought that's what you were doing," John shot back.
Silence. "So I am," Rodney finally said.
"I mean," John said slowly, "it's not just your job, you know--we're all on the same team, right? We look out for each other."
"Sure. Yes, that's, um, that's good to know."
Thoughtful silence.
"Hey, I think we're here."
"Oh, thank God!"
********
The next day, riding back to the gate with a third vehicle full of traded goods trailing along behind them, John went with Rodney again.
Just to spare Teyla and Ford the aggravating company on the ride, of course.
