Behind the Scenes
By Brate
This is in answer to Cin's two challenges: 1) in any modern day M7/AU write a story that includes the words: bulletproof vest, a fire escape, windshield wipers, a laser printer, and Wite-Out. 2) any AU, write a short humorous fic where someone pulls a prank on one of the guys or all of them.
I combined the two challenges into one fic. It's not that I'm lazy -- I'm just efficient <g>
I still can't believe it. I just can't believe that Chris "Destruction of government property is a felony" Larabee had the balls -- er, gumption -- to superglue all o' Buck's stuff to his desk: pens, stapler, bottle of Wite-Out, in box, and phone. He even glued the receiver down onto the phone's base, it rang all day long and Wilmington couldn't answer it. Drove 'im nuts!
Later we had to check our equipment for next week's mission. Unfortunately, some person had coated grease all over the inside of Buck's bulletproof vest. When he tried it on, he got black shit -- er, stuff -- on his nice clean shirt. And for some reason all his extra shirts were missing so he had to wear the filthy one for the rest of the day. That Josiah's a "slick" one all right.
Buck decided to bear with it and get down to work, pointedly ignoring the rest of the team. But when he went to print out his reports, he found his job had been rerouted to random laser printers throughout the entire federal building. He spent the better part of two hours tracking all them pages down. Luckily he didn't print any of that porn -- er, e-mail -- he likes to read so much. Now you'd think JD was behind this prank, wouldn't ya? Nah, this one belonged to none other than Ezra Standish himself.
Finally at five, Buck must've thought his horrible day was over because it was time for everyone to go home. Not so fast, Bucklin. A certain ex-medic had rewired the windshield wipers on Buck's truck, directly connecting through a bypass switch that made them turn on as soon as the engine started. I'm sure that trip home was a hoot and a half.
Late that night Buck was ready to go to sleep. Too bad for him, his best friend hadn't had a crack yet. Under Buck's covers, JD had stretched an electrical extension cord across the lower part of the ladies' man's bed. Before putting it under, the kid stripped the insulation of the cord, leaving it exposed. Once Buck got into bed and his feet touched the live wire whoo wee! This wasn't enough, though. JD set up a video camera on the fire escape outside his roommate's window, so Bucklin's five-foot leap and "girly" scream were recorded for future blackmail opportunities.
I'm tellin' y'all -- the preparations were time-consuming. During the week leadin' up to it, I had to make each and ev'ry one of them think the pranks were their own idea. And when asked if I had any suggestions, I jest happened to have one to give each of 'em.
All in all it was a very productive April Fool's Day for me. Wonder who should be next year's target?
