Up the A--

By Brate

Author's note: Val was kind enough to invite me to Thanksgiving feast with her this year after the crapfest of last year (five and a half hour car trip took nine hours in a horrendous snowstorm, then I got the flu and was in bed for two days). But I do miss one tradition I do with my family. I woke up with this short bit in my head and Val convinced me to write and post it today. I think she actually wanted me the heck outta her kitchen, but whatever…

It was their first Thanksgiving together as a team, Chris Larabee was determined to make it memorable. He was in charge of the turkey, Josiah was busy with the cranberry sauce, and Nathan was making his mother's sweet potato pie.

Vin Tanner never recalled having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, so everything was new to him. He was intrigued with the goings on and kept close watch. "Whatcha doin', Chris?"

"Getting the turkey ready."

"You have your hand up its ass."

Josiah snorted and Nathan gave a short bark of laughter, but when Chris looked over, their expressions were blank. Turning back to Vin, Chris said mildly, "I have to remove the giblets."

"What are giblets?"

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

Vin looked back innocently. Real innocence, too, not the fake look he often tried to pull off.

"Well, it's the heart, liver, and gizzard of the bird," Chris explained.

Now Vin's ingenuous look turned to revulsion. "Why'd they leave it in there? Can't they take it out b'fore they wrap it up?"

"They could, but some people like them."

"For what?"

"To eat."

"That's disgusting!"

"No more so than your peanut butter and onion sandwiches," Josiah chimed in.

"That's not disgusting," Vin defended, "it's just an acquired taste."

"So is this."

"I ain't acquirin' that taste, no way, no how."

"We're not gonna make you eat it, Vin. I'll cook it for the dog."

"Okay, then." Vin nodded, satisfied. He watched in silence for another beat. "Now why are you stickin' yer hand up its ass?"

"I have to stuff it."

"With what?"

"Stufffing."

"Yer stuffin' it with stuffing?"

Chris sighed, frustrated. "Yes." He heard Nathan and Josiah chuckling.

"Yer plannin' on eating it?"

"That's the plan, yes."

"You are going to eat somethin' that comes outta a bird's ass."

"Vin."

"No, I'm serious, this is okay with you? This is what you do every year?"

"Yes."

"You eat something that comes out of a turkey's ass?"

"Vin, I swear, if you say 'ass' one more time, I'll shove you in this turkey."

"Fine. Okay. Touchy." Vin backed away, hands held up. "Hey, Ez," he called when he got to the doorway, "you won't believe what Chris is doin' to the turkey's butt!"

"That's it!" Chris took off after Vin, who was already on the run.

"Is this going to be our Thanksgiving tradition?" Nathan asked, watching the chase.

"God, I hope so," Josiah answered. "Much more exciting than the Macy's Parade."